Je na sais Quoi

 “I love you” Rajat lied as Reena leaves early to catch the 7 am BEST bus to office. Reena knew it too. Rajat still in bed, could only glimpse her bare back. ”It’s casual Friday, I suppose” “Its Sunday love and its my appraisal day” Reena jocundly said as she thudded close the door. Rajat knew half-truths are like cumulonimbus clouds hovering on arid lands, holds lot of promise but mean nothing to deep scarred crevices. But its necessary, hope is necessary. Hope is cursed. 

Rajat got up from the bed and went in the bathroom for his toothbrush, only to find out that Reena used it again. Two years ago, he was enchanted by her small peccadilloes, now he is disgusted. As the sun rays fell on the dressing mirror and got reflected on the bed, he noticed that there is something shining under her pillow. She forgot her mangalsutra, she often had been complaining about the pointy pendant which leaves reddish imprints of RLR on her neck in the morning. Instead of Lord Ganesha or Laxmi, Reena was hell bent on imprinting RLR- “Reena loves Rajat” Ha- and ”I thought I was the one who is crazy”. He carefully placed it on the bedside table and picked up their photo frame, lying on the ground and put it back on the top. 

“We shouldn't have watched P.S I love you. We always end up at doggerels and I dont get Gerald Butler’s chicanery of impressing Hilary swank even after his death. I am sick of romcoms they make a woman’s head of an utmost stupor” Rajat is not having his usual Sunday morning as he flipped through the newspaper, holding a cup of cold and lifeless tea in his hand. Something which had become a norm like the electricity cuts in the peak summers of Mumbai. You know summers have arrived when you miss the AC more than your dear ones. 

Rickety , Across Row 7- decrepit, likely to collapse. 

As Rajat completed the half of the crossword, one which had become part of his Sunday norm. The unusual clamor in the park caught his attention, he looked on to see some cops were taking a person away in their jeep. The people were holding their way out of enthusiasm to see the criminal and he was being treated as a mini celebrity. Journey is not made by the roads but the traveller. He who chooses to walk nowhere, will go nowhere. 

“I wonder who keeps appraisal meeting on a Sunday, the fangs of corporate leeches are sucking the sanity out of our happy marriage” Rajat believed so as he mumbled in vain. 

kaleidoscope- Down 14 - An optical instrument. 

Rajat met Reena at Mridnga’s sangeet. Reena was amused while seeing Rajat dance non-stop for two hours without doing a single humanly step. It was awkwardness at first sight when he asked her to join him on the floor. She hesitated only till Mridnga stepped in. How could she refuse her only friend since kindergarten and who was constantly trying to hitch her with every single guy friend of hers. “I am Reena”  Reena introduced herself, hiding her chuckle….“Rajaaat”  he made sure she heard his name right as his legs and hands are matching the crescendo. 

“You are a terrible dancer” Reena couldn't hide the obviousity for long. Rajat looked in disbelief and looked around to see if she mentioned somebody else. His hands were making scissors on his knees vigorously which looked like as if he was trying to put out a flame off his thighs. Reena stared at Mridnga only to find cloying her fiancé.  

“Reena right? Would you like a drink?” Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Rajat asked Reena with a straight face. “Yes, a margarita with extra olives” Reena knew her taste. “Oh my god! this is my groove”. Rajat forgot in an instant that he stood her up and his body went into a trance. 

Amalgamate Down 46- to unite 

Rajat dialed her number twice but without any success, to ask her about when is she coming back from the office. “It’s 2 pm, what is taking so long, it’s just a rating, you take it you leave it there, no matter how hard you work, you are always bell-curved” 

Rajat never liked her long working hours but he knew that he alone cannot afford this plush place at Savitri plaza in Bandra. “Is she having an affair? Lately she has been spending her weekends at office than with me. No no… it can’t be. How can I think like that’?” All his doubts are like those lost ships in the ocean, at the mercy of the winds and waiting to be at shore. 

“Mrs. Sengupta? A stern voice greeted her on the phone. “This is Simha Rupa Iyer, Reema’s father.” His voice was more like a stare at the start of a bout, to intimidate the opponent. “By now, you would be very well aware that your boy has asked my daughter for marriage. If not, then this is to inform you that such misfortune has come into Iyer’s household. We are a respectable family in Madurai and our past generations have always been an inspiration, but odds of that happening now, is seemingly becoming greater. I want to confirm my unapprovable of the alliance and the behaviour of your boy who repeatedly tried to enter my house by climbing the wall and balcony, often to be found at my 80-year old Mother’s room, is quite despicable. His lack of respect for the vases and flower pots which he ritually has broken on the way to his unceremonious and cloddish exit is becoming an unbearable pain. Before God’s wish, only one wish I bow to- one and only daughter’s. Hope you are brahmins”

B————t  Across 37 to leave

Raja decided that he is going to put an end to this charade. “May be a whiff of divorce will shake things up and get her focus back on him”. His quest to find the last four letters is making the wait even more agonising. 

“Hello is this Mr. Rajat Sengupta? 

“Yes”

“This is SP of Bandara Police Station speaking”

His voice was mechanically tuned, devoid of any emotions or flattery. 

“Yes Sir, how can I help”

“Are you husband of Reena Iyer, Age 32, Dark complexion, Straight hair” 

He described her as matrimony ad

“Yes”

“This is to inform you that, the criminal which we caught from Savitri apartment earlier in the morning, he tried running away while we were on the way to the police station”

“Yeah so, what about my wife?”

“Please let me finish. He managed to snatch a gun from one of our constables and started shooting at us. Your wife got hurt in the crossfire but we managed to catch the criminal. You are summoned by the orders of the court to identify your wife in the St. Agnes morgue. We are sorry for your loss”

Suddenly, the missing letters flashed into his mind and he saw an irony in it.

Bereft

Waz up Homi??

Dear Homie,

I know you been trying really hard to make your own mark, but to be frank I am quite disappointed the way things have come out. It's kind of disturbing so have to let you know.

I am not an ardent fan, but yes i do occasionally watch Bollywood movies and also run-of the mill stuff. But the Movie i watched last.... sets the bottomest pit mark ever. and the movie i am talking about is "Cocktail".

First:
Who the hell came with such weird name, and i couldn't figured out... i mean i know... even though relationships do gets complicated but Cocktail seriously that's the best you got?


Second:
Cast:

Saif: I respect you a lot but if its your production doesn't to mean to you need to take budget heroines no offense Deepika and other lady( Did some pay her finally?)

Deepika: I loved your laugh, but would you mind not doing every time you blurp a dialogue and i know you trying to be peppy and  showing who cares attitude....but i thought you acted dumb blonde who dyed her hair black( no offense blondies you guys rack...... i mean rock)

the other lady:
Yeah i guess you must have been thrilled shooting in London and Capetown...next time pl visit Anupam's Kher acting classes or take take tuitions at Boman's place...

Third,
Script: What happend to good old fashioned script where i can relate to scene1 and scene 2 and so on...were the script writers underpaid? I mean there was no story?? Guys even Dhobi ghat was better documented? Scene1  Saif enters the room ( Deepika laugh)
Scene 2 Saif says HI..(Deepkia laugh)
.
.
.
.

Scene 345: Saif proposed to other lady..(Deepika laugh)

Last but not the least
Songs:
The soul of any Bollywood movie is ripped apart with below average scenes? How can you go wrong with songs isn't that our best part..what happened to background score? Anu Malik i guess won't mind provided you let him be a raging bull in Korean/Japanese/Nepalese music shop.

I didn even enjoy my snacks..that's the worst 150 bucks I ever spent on any movie..

Homie u need to do your home work...crap sells but smells too...

Fantasy or Frustration!!

You know an average man spends about 18% of time online to see porngraphic materials. Haven't we all? I have. But There is a thin line of what you are seeing and what you want to see. Ideally, for some people its mode of venting out their frustration. Your boss screws you entire day and you come home you want someone to screw if you are not married, not having girlfriend, thats the only way. But I feel its lot safer than having unprotected sex. Dont' you think? We all have tendencies of being promiscuous but the nature should be brewed and crossing lines, well! choice is yours.

There are so many reinforcement that an affair, infidelity is so common and on the rise. More and more couples are choosing to have their own space. Aren't you guys agreed to share your space in the first place? I would connect there is light at the end of tunnel. Fantasies doesn't have to be omega of frustration it can be alpha of good companionship and invigorate the hidden you

Loved thy Nature!!

Spent some time at home and took some ( rather tried to) take some snaps at home. Courtsey my garden!

Not alone!!

31^st December 2010

It’s exactly what a loser will do at 12 am at night… You might be wondering why I am neither with friends nor at party or the hell outside my house something and not in front of my laptop. Well, I need sometime alone nah! I just can’t afford to be outside I am too poor to celebrate. But the real question do you need friends or company or family to celebrate> i believe we are conditioned to believe that without company we are unable to express the inherent feelings. The insularity somehow eludes when the celebrations are discussed. I may sound like a preacher but Do you really miss you$? miss being you? What completes you? Does the presence of others gives solace to your eternal joy and happiness? What if if no one but you survive on the entire earth? How will you keep yourself sane? We never have thought beyond the purview of our myopic vision. We spend so many hours with others but you. I know being alone sometimes sounds creepy. But if you take some time out of unbound jib jab. You will listen to your own voice. Happy New Year

The Other Side of the Good

Today, I saw myself frown again,

Today, the world seems so mean and disgust,

Today, my anguish knew no bounds,

Today, I went where I shouldn’t trespass,

Today, I saw humanity naked and dreadful,

Today, I met friend in devil,

Today, I saw goodness breathing last,

Today, I met his eyes with vile and lust,

Today, my soul shackled and aghast,

Today, my head looms in impunity,

Today, my hand shakes in insanity,

Today, I read his last words, “G b y”

Today, I know it’s not “God bless you” but ”Good bye”

Today, I pray for the lost soul,

Today, I saw the last laugh of good again.

This poem is dedicated to the unknown Man , who accidently found my wallet lying on the road and kept with him. Of all the myriad of people, he kept my wallet and kept me informing to calm down. When I met him two things shocked me, his gentle smile and his evil and lustful look on almost naked bodies. My first and last visit to Dance Bar/Brothel ( I pray).

Date: 22 August

Peek-a-Loo !

Women folks if u want to know the kind of guy your dating, have someone to tell you how they react when they relieve themselves. Yeah, the way they behave during their expulsion of liquid waste tells u a lot about a man about their most inner feelings and also how big his bladder is? just in case u want to know :-)

The first genre of Men as I call them RAPID FIRE men They barge in the restrooms as if they are answering the questions in the rapid fire round. They don’t care if they hit or miss...they still want to go for it. They take the pee so seriously as if they are in some who pees first competition and they want to create a fastest record which even Bolt will think twice before breaking it. Yeah they make theirs so fast as if people will be waiting outside the restrooms with flowers in their hand as they have found their new champion. They are high in self esteem, very ambitious and walk with shoulders high and fly open and oh! they wet their shoes more often than not.

The second are most common I call the THINKING MAN…they arrive in the restrooms with the eerie in their steps and think a lot which cabinet to take. And they ponder a lot over a 2 min process and damn don realize that people behind them are cursing him coz he finished his and still standing….don know for what???…those men will visit the restrooms as someone visits the ashram in search of truth and their purpose on heavenly earth…..they think their 2 min of break will open up the answers he was seeking whole his life….Wake up brother!!!! You are not only giving hard time to your bladder but also guys standing behind you…these guys are creative, casual and very open-minded and most off the time end up relieving themselves in public restrooms coz they cannot afford their own J

The Third species are the rare one…they are PINBALL MACHINES…they think it’s a game out here. With their antics of up and down…they just finding their rhythm to hit the jackpot….One word Guys Vegas is your destination…maybe u can make your fortune over there…..Their walk in the restroom in the their iconic swagger tells that they want power more than anything else and that includes their bladder too. If they get a chance they will break the cabinet with their stream and often flings their male baton like a baseball player is aiming for home-run. They are usually belong to business and politics and they think they can start conversation anywhere, even in the restroom, too bad guys nobody gives a penny what you think about, Just pee-off.